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HRH Prince George of Cambridge manifested superpowers today and unleashed a devastating rain of destruction and terror on British citizens attending a garden party, after being forced to share one of his biscuits with another child, whom he had, earlier in the day, referred to as a “peasant.”

The Prince, who should have been restrained, but wasn’t, because he is better than the rest of us, eventually relented when he got tired of listening to the agonized screams of his parents’ posh friends that he had decided to immolate with his new found powers.

“He sometimes gets a bit cranky when he hasn’t had his nap but I have never seen him get like this,” his mother, the Dutchess of Cambridge said, quasi-apologetically. “Oh well. I guess we’ll get new friends.”

The terrifying attack, which left 14 people dead and a further 8 people hospitalized with horrific burns, took place on the grounds of Nottingham Cottage, close to Kensington Palace.

It is now being regarded as an embarrassing blunder for the British Royal Family, who were only just starting to recover from the stigmatic shame of their very own ginger Prince Harry repeatedly getting his cock out, among other hi-jinks.

“He’s a jolly nice little fellow normally,” Said his father Prince William of Cambridge, who is looking less like his mother Diana with every passing day and now starting to closely resemble a talking genital wart.

“He normally doesn’t have to share his biscuits with the peasants, so I think that might have made him a bit bibbedy-boobedy-bingledly-bangledy blithery eh what? Old chum?”

Buckingham Palace has yet to release an official statement on this matter and had not yet responded to our requests at the time of writing.

 

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