Everybody gets sad sometimes. Some more than others. No one as much, or as often, as Jennifer Aniston, If the tabloids are anything to go by.
As National Enquirer theory goes, Jen is incapable of being happy unless she is married to an A-list male Hollywood superstar. So we root for her/ dislike her intensely for being such a sap (delete as appropriate or strike through entire sentence if you couldn’t give a shit at all, actually).
Now with Jen poised to marry and live happily ever after, I’d like to reflect briefly on ten times that Jen was pictured looking sad and surmise on some of the possible reasons why.
1) Jen is sad because the National Enquirer said she was sad.
2) Jen is sad because she forgot she wasn’t playing Rachel Green in the movie The Good Girl.
3) Jen is sad because Angelina’s charity work gets more attention than hers does.
4) Jen is sad because all of Angelina’s charity work is purely hyperbolic.
5) Jen is sad because she actually puts cause and effect theory into practice for her charitable donations.
6) Jen is sad because she could actually give a shit about Brad and Ange and their child collection.
7) Jen is sad because she saw the National Enquirer again when she was out buying veggies.
8) Jen is sad because she’s not really sad, she’s probably just a pensive and thoughtful lady.
9) Jen is sad because Brad didn’t say “WE WERE ON A BREAK!” like Ross did.
10) Jen is sad because Phoebe and Monica aren’t really people and Courtney Cox and Lisa Kudrow are less kooky IRL.
Please “like” Today in Cats on Facebook, or you’ll be sad.