You can’t have any boyfriend unless it is one of these cute guys I found on Stock Images.
Stylish sexy man who won’t text you back, yet will suddenly start to text you of his own volition in a manner that verges on harassment.
Cute guy who is happy to be wearing a hat even though it’s Summer and why is he wearing that hat when it’s hot out? Is there something wrong on his head?
Cute guy who seems pretty happy to be using a Lenovo that he got in Argos.
Cute guy who seems very content to be using a Toshiba.
Cute guy who is generally uncomfortable that there’s a watermark going across his face and wants it gone. Will you buy the image? So it can be removed?
Cute guy who is listening to Lana Del Rey in his jocks and feels like he is enjoying emotions about things he was never experienced and feelings he has never felt.
Cute guy who has pretended that you just said something really funny so one of the other cute guys that I found on stock images will get territorial and maybe ask you out first.
Cute guy who spilled his Capri Sun beverage on himself and is now wondering what the letters in the watermark spell because fuck reading.
Which one did you pick?